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Take cover – agents' customer from hell on rampage

19 July 2010
Written by rosalind renshaw

Here is an urgent SOS to all estate agents in the South-West: leave right now, as the world’s worst customer from hell is on the loose. Do not under-estimate the gravity of the situation.

Liz Jones, the Mail’s famously demented tell-it-like-it-is columnist, has decided to sell her farmhouse on Exmoor to buy somewhere else in the region.

She has, she says, already put the farm on the market. If you are the agent concerned, you may be reading this from a quiet side ward.

Meanwhile, Jones has entered what she calls “the mire of the property market, where men are called Jasper and the women are blonde and stupid and inevitably work part-time”.

How, she wonders, “do these cack-handed morons stay in business?”

So, what have the West Country agents done to annoy her? You have to bear in mind that you don’t actually have to do anything much to goad this particular lady into paroxysms of fury. Probably just breathing would do it.

One agent annoyed her twice over. First by having a red face, and then by calling her ‘Mrs’ to which she shrieked back ‘Miss’.

Other agents have merely inquired if she has registered with them, to which she storms: “Why do I have to give you my inside leg measurement and bra size in order to find out how many acres it has?”

Then there are the sales particulars, which also raise her blood pressure as “nothing is ever as it seems”. 

“I have,” she says, “entered a parallel universe where the English language is routinely slaughtered.”

She has already made a couple of offers on properties. So, you can imagine how scathing she is about the agents who have advised her that she is not exactly in a position to proceed, as she hasn’t sold her own house.

I can’t imagine any of the agents will even dare mention her well-documented financial troubles, which could also mean she hasn’t got any money, nor the fact that she is at war with all her current neighbours.

She did, after all, claim that local shop-workers have learning difficulties and that “if men have teeth in the West Country, it’s a bonus”.

We think she will test agents in the area to well beyond their limits. And it could blow your chance of an ESTA, if she fills in the consumer satisfaction form.

Comments

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    Sounds like he's brought on a bit of a nose bleed. He does raise a fair point though, EAT provide a top (free - which we know agents love!) service. If you don't like it, don't read/comment!!!

    :)

    • 23 July 2010 12:33 PM
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    Ian – you okay mate?

    You sound like a ranting fool, un clench a bit

    • 23 July 2010 10:24 AM
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    wooden top: Yes - but HOW MUCH PROFIT did you make out of them? That's all that matters, isn't it?

    I ain't brave - just "up for a challenge". Makes life... interesting, don't it? ;0)

    • 22 July 2010 12:59 PM
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    PeeBee boy you are brave. You would deserve the "EAT Agent of the Year Award" just for trying.

    I can think of more than a few vendors/buyers who I would gladdly never had laid eyes on. They were so arrogant....

    • 22 July 2010 11:00 AM
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    @Ian
    No, because it's hilarious and you are even more hilarious!

    • 21 July 2010 16:08 PM
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    Jonnie and Ladyholly....GET OFF THIS SITE YOU STUCK UP, BORING BILLY NO MATES!!...If this site's to low brow for you then do one....what's wrong with light hearted yet topical news? Idiots.

    • 21 July 2010 12:13 PM
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    I'd sell for her! I would view it as a challenge to win her over (as it is with most vendors, so what's the difference).

    Imagine what you could achieve as a business with a 'Thank You' card off this lady... ;0)

    • 21 July 2010 12:07 PM
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    she looks a bit odd and potless
    just google her and read the guardian article

    • 20 July 2010 18:48 PM
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    oh dear, someone isn't getting enough ...... not surprising really.

    • 20 July 2010 17:01 PM
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    It's worth the price of the MoS to read her weekly moanathon. By the way how's she going to get a loan to finance a house purchase?

    • 20 July 2010 11:19 AM
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    Might I suggest that all Agents she approaches to act for her take her record into account and make a fee accordingly.

    If she were to approach me I would willingly take her instructions at 10% for sole selling rights for ten years.

    • 19 July 2010 15:26 PM
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    Is this really news??

    Read the article – she’s annoyed at one agent who wont take her seriously , is this really the best property news EA Today can come up with?

    • 19 July 2010 14:24 PM
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    Ironically agents in the South West had the highest customer service rating of any region in the country at this year's ESTAS

    • 19 July 2010 11:48 AM
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    I would like to say Liz Jones is probably a pain to deal with and is going to be difficult and neurotic (As most coke snorting southern journalists are), but I suggest Agents take a good look at themselves and their so called professionalism, I have dealt with 100s and like most of the public find a lot of them (not all by any means) very poor, basically old style double glazing salesmen with different suits and the same old tired patter.

    • 19 July 2010 11:45 AM
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    LOL no wooden top,not all are like that just the bitter ones,Im happily divorced,shes maybe just naturally horrible..lol ;-)'

    • 19 July 2010 11:35 AM
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    She most probably is on a rampage because things like this get written by so called 'industry porfessionals'.
    Hmmm, yes very professional EAT.

    • 19 July 2010 11:33 AM
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    I'm surprised she can read sales particulars being as her head must be so far up her own posterior :-(

    • 19 July 2010 11:27 AM
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    Aren't all divocees the same!

    • 19 July 2010 11:22 AM
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    Lets hope she doesnt become a "buying agent" eh? that would make a great story

    • 19 July 2010 08:17 AM
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