Happy New Year to everyone, says Big T

I was going to write something pithy yet witty about the future for we estate agents as 2013 dawned blearily upon me, then I thought ‘can I be bothered?’ (either to write, or indeed ever open my doors again). Gone are the days (for me at least ) when the job was fun and even a bit profitable in a good year.

Vendors were loyal(ish), asking prices competitive and buyers, by and large, did what they said they would do. Overheads were manageable and one could even afford to be a little over-staffed so that everything got done and holidays/illnesses were not just another crisis to be managed. Any of this ring a bell today?
 
Today you youngsters out there are, no doubt, taking leaves out of the ‘American Beauty’ book of motivation by the handful and stopping at nothing to ‘make that sale’, whatever it takes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAMJs-zfNGc

OK, you may not be an Annette Benning, but I’m sure you get the idea!

I’m more Jack Lemmon in ‘Glengary Glen Ross’ – burnt out and bitter (bit like the pie-and-a-pint in my local), and the prospect of my stripping off to my Y-Fronts to clean the house before the first applicant arrives could only lead me to one result, a forced stay in The Priory.
 
This coming year we’re going to have to put up with even more computer-based competitors offering a virtual DIY service for 0.25% and wriggling their stock on to Rightmove by subterfuge, smoke and mirrors and good old-fashioned lying.

In my estimation, forced sellers will be out in force this coming year providing stock at very saleable prices due to desperation but, sadly for us, most will either go the way of FSBOs or the major chains with so-called specialist marketing departments for possessions.
 
Politics won’t help, you can be sure of that. Have you ever noticed how, whenever a party is at a particularly low ebb and needs positive publicity, out comes another estate agent-bashing initiative? Stamp Duty reform is unlikely to be wheeled out until three months before the next election and then only in a vague promise (STC and a guarantee to vote for them first).

The Lib Dems are considering the banning of all house names on properties in 2013 (every home shall only have a number made up of a combination of Tax Code, NI number and bank account).

Labour are considering a different approach where each home WILL have to have a name but it must include a description of the property such as “…House, …Villa, …Cottage, …Terrace, …View, …Mansion, …Manor etc” so they can revalue for Council Tax purely by house name. 
 
As for the Tories, well I really do think at least they understand property – rental portfolios, second income generation, multiple homes, refurbishment cost schemes, pension protection –  they certainly know their BTLs from their BLTs, you can be sure of that. Whether they’ve any idea how to help the rest of the market is another matter altogether, though!
 
Finally, I am sorry to have to report that you will see no more of me on your wide screens in ’13. I have been reliably informed that the whole of the broadcast media has slapped a ‘3S’ rating on me now (sixties, sexless and sad) and all enquiries are now to be directed to some bloke called Henry Pryor whose rating is still at the ‘F’ level, apparently.
 
Happy New Year to you all!
 
Big T