Those of a nervous disposition – look away now.
Our friend Jules Bending, estate agent in the alternative reaches of Glastonbury and front-runner in the Roy Brooks stakes, tells us he has been wickedly censored.
How come, we ask?
After all, hasn’t his Real Ralph Bending Estate Agent been banned by Rightmove, other portals and all right-thinking press, including his local papers, for his comparisons in one set of property details of waking up to views of Glastonbury Tor to early-dawn glimpses of an enormous erection?
The entire general public (and EAT) love his property descriptions, but apparently the other very few remaining people on the universe do not enjoy the double entendres.
Anyway, Jules successfully got back into his local papers, the Mid Somerset Press (owned by Northcliffe, the Daily Mail owners), after a hungry new sales rep came in on the scene and somehow smoothed things over.
All went well in this sunny relationship until Jules placed this ad: “Bright & gay studio apartment in Quantock Court. Not suitable for someone with a lot of furniture as there's only enough room for a little pouffe.”
This got changed to: “Bright & gay studio apartment in Quantock Court. Not suitable for someone with a lot of furniture as there’s only enough room for a little foot stool.”
When Jules questioned this, the reason cited was – surprisingly – not ‘we didn’t understand the spelling’, but bad taste. It’s the first time a pouffe or foot stool, whichever you want to call it, has caused such affront!
However, as this is from a newspaper group that runs phone sex adverts, Jules was not going to take this, er, lying down.
So he ran a reasonably disgusting spoof sex ad, which was accepted without any queries at all.
Unbelievable – but we think this is our funniest story of the year.
PS: Jules didn’t get any responses at all to his spoof ad. We asked the question because we thought you’d want to know. However, it does question the effectiveness of local newspaper advertising. No buyers, no new instructions?
Comments
touche!
Well that is what lettings is all about - not many empty properties.
My apologies, the 23 rental properties you have available as well. You must charge excellent management fees.
What??
Probably going to have to attempt to defend myself here. 95% of what we do is letting & property management. In fact we turn over £1m a year. Lettings call for a more adult, long term approach - some agents find that disconcerting.
"Hungry Sales Rep"? I'm sure they were over the moon when he agreed to advertise all six of his properties that our for sale. Especially considering the fact that they still advertising home information packs at £269. No wonder nobody will take him seriously.
have a look at his you tube channel, some funny stuff right there!
Victorian Beauty
Built in the early 1900s this formidable erection is big enough to swing a pussy in every room. It also has subterranean nooks and crannies many of which are damp and moist. With open fireplaces throughout the breast are the best I have ever seen. Needs a complete makeover and would therefore suit young fit couple who don’t mind grinding and humping 24/7.
Good for Jules! great stuff, we waste £1000s a year with our local rag!! its a total waste of time.