Know any estate agency jokes?...

08 June 2009

17671 Reads
8 Comments

Written by rosalind renshaw

All right, so it wasn’t the best estate agency joke I came up with in my Rat & Mouse interview (see https://theratandmouse.co.uk/weblog/index.php)

I’ve been asked if I know any better ones, so how about this?

An estate agent thoughtfully sends his customary bunch of flowers to a purchaser who has just moved in. Unfortunately, they arrive with a card saying ‘Rest in Peace’.

Furious, the recipient phones the florist, who says: “I’m really sorry for the mistake, Madam. But just think – there’s a funeral taking place today with some flowers on the coffin where the message reads: “We wish you happiness in your new home”.

No?

Oh well, see if you can do better! All estate agency jokes welcome on the posts below. Preferably clean-ish.

Comments

- PeeBee
Estate Agency jokes - Prudential Property Services springs to mind...
- 11 June 2009 18:11 PM
- Mr Charity Worker
Not exactly Estate Agent jokes but FUNNY T shirt quotes instead.

I can see clearly now the brain has gone.

Out of my mind. Back shortly.

Certified Insane.

I'm not a snob. I'm just better than you are.

Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me.

Boobies make me smile.

Sex, drugs and sausage rolls.

Destined for fame.

My wife says I never listen. At least, I think that’s what she said.

The perfect man.

Peace love and crabs.
- 08 June 2009 17:00 PM
- outsider
The amount of marketing pieces that are labelled as "news" on this site.
- 08 June 2009 16:46 PM
- Integra
Two mates wandering round a graveyard when one stops and reads the words on a gravestone.

Here lies an estate agent and an honest man.

Crikey he says to his mate - they buried two people in the same grave here
- 08 June 2009 13:53 PM
- Steve0
You could put two estate agents on a desert island with one half built stone hut in the middle of it. And they would still make a living !!!
- 08 June 2009 12:22 PM
- Mr Brightmove
Not exactly a joke but a true story. This one is a real corker. Prize of a £5 bottle of Woolworths Champagne goes to our informer, a local building contractor! The young negotiator arrived with prospective purchasers to look over a brand new bungalow. After spending a short time showing them around the negotiator noticed the time and said "Must dash - must not miss an appointment to have my nails done! The contractor was then left with the bemused buyers only to spend the next hour continuing the viewing and answering questions.
- 08 June 2009 11:18 AM
- JC
What's the difference between an estate agent & a pigeon?

A pigeon can still put a deposit on a Porsche
- 08 June 2009 09:54 AM
- Ben at the Rat and Mouse
Okay... one from the darkest "pre-green shoots" days.

Why doesn't an estate agent look out of the window in the morning?

Because there'd be nothing to do in the afternoon.

(From my "How to Win Friends and Influence People on EAT" guide.
- 08 June 2009 08:45 AM